December 31, 2005

Kaya Harta, Kaya Jiwa

Setiap kita mengimpikan kesenangan, hidup dalam limpahan harta dan kemewahan. Selalu juga kita menganggap bahawa kekayaan harta benda lebih bermakna dari kekayaan hati dan jiwa. Disebabkan itu, selalu kita terlajak dalam perbuatan kerana lebih mengejar kekayaan dunia melebihi kekayaan akhirat.

Rasulullah SAW bersabda yang bermaksud:

"Bukanlah kekayaan itu harta yang melimpah, akan tetapi kekayaan (yang sebenar-benarnya) ialah kaya jiwa". [Riwayat Bukhari]

Masih ingatkah kisah Qarun pada zaman Nabi Musa AS yang menjadi contoh manusia yang kufur dan angkuh dengan kekayaan yang dimilikinya?

Dia bakhil, juga boros pada perkara-perkara yang tidak kena tempat (perkara haram), sedangkan Allah SWT memerintahkan hamba-Nya bersederhana dalam membelanjakan harta di samping mengeluarkan zakat yang difardhukan.

Mendapat kekayaan tidak salah sama sekali.

Sesungguhnya kekayaan harta dan usaha untuk mendapatkan harta tidak menjadi halangan di dalam Islam, selagi seseorang itu berusaha dan bekerja dengan cara yang halal dan menunaikan tanggungjawabnya dengan sempurna.

Namun, mana yang lebih utama? Hidup mewah tetapi kosong jiwa atau hidup sederhana seadanya tetapi kaya jiwa? Tepuk dada, tanya selera.


Selamat Menyambut Tahun Baru 2006 buat semua teman-teman blogger yang dihormati. Semoga kehidupan kita sentiasa dilimpahi rahmat dan keredhaan-Nya, aminn.

December 30, 2005

A Boy Or A Girl?

You can choose for yourself whether you want a boy or a girl by following the chart (click at the url).

The woman's age from 18 to 45 (Chinese reckoning) is on the top line while the months 1 to 12 indicate the month when the baby is conceived. By following the chart you will be able to tell in advance whether your baby will be a boy or a girl.

Thus, you can plan to have a boy or a girl.

This chart has been taken from a Royal tomb near Peking, China. The original copy is kept in the Institute of Science of Peking.

The accuracy of the chart has been proved by thousands of people and is believed to be 99 percent accurate. By reckoning, you follow a line drawn from the figure representing the woman's age to a line drawn from the month the baby is conceived.

For instance, if the woman is 27 years old and her baby is conceived in January (according to the Chinese Lunar Calendar), then her baby will be a girl.

The chart is based on the month the baby is conceived and not on the birth of the baby, B-Male, G-Female.

Remarks: A Chinese Scientist discovered and drew this chart which was buried in a Royal tomb about 700 years ago.


December 29, 2005

Hail Caesarean

**Got this from It's really worth a while to read**

I've wanted to tell this story for a long time. However, it makes me to be this ignorant fool that I am embarrassed (and reluctant) to admit I am. Like a friend of mine said, even some of the most educated people on earth can make some stupid mistakes. I guess I'm not as informed as I thought I was after all.

On 6th June 2002, I had a Caesarean birth for my first child, a girl, two weeks shy of my actual delivery date.

The day before, I had gone for my routine checkup and my doctor (now my ex-gynae) told me that I was dilating and wanted to check me in. Putting my full trust in her, I checked into Pantai on 5th June 2002 at about 11pm.

At about 1pm, my gynecologist came and checked me again. She said my cervix was only two to three centimeters open, and had to wait further. At 3pm, when nothing seemed to be happening, she burst my water bag to see if that would help things. Note that during all this time, I felt no labour pains and even wondered arrogantly then what the fuss was all about.

I was only six centimeters at about 7pm, which was more or less when they decided to induce me, but not before I had my epidural. The contractions started coming at about 8pm and the epidural did not work properly as I still felt the pain. The anesthesiologist re-administered the drug and half my body was numb while the other could still feel the pain from the contractions. And YET, I was not dilating fast enough.

At about 9pm, my gynae informed my husband and I that progress was slow and if I did not reach ten centimeters by tonight, she will perform an emergency C-section for the safety of our child. At 11.00pm, we made the call as Raeven was not crowning at all despite having reached ten centimeters dilation. I was rolled from the labour ward into the cold operating theatre at 12 midnight and gave birth to my daughter at 12.35pm under general anesthetic.

Suffice to say, this was an expensive experience. In total, we paid over RM10,000 in medical fees to Pantai, comprising the food and accommodation for four days and three nights, the doctor's fees, the anesthesiologist fees (he charged us twice for the re-administration of the epidural!) and the full suite of painkillers used, the paedetrician's fees (the only thing I was happy to pay), the nursery, UV light fees for the baby et al. After addressing this unhappy issue to our gynae, she managed to negotiate a refund of RM400 or so, off the price of the second epidural administration.

Still, it was over RM10k. And this isn't including my confinement lady fees of RM2, 500.

Fast forward two years later to May 2004, and my friend Mae in Singapore is having her second child. She emails me from her office.

"I am only three cms so my doctor told me to stay at home first. I was bored and decided to go to work."

Imagine my surprise. No, imagine my shock. Three cms and she got to go to work? I was in the hospital BEFORE I was three cms! What on earth?

As I had already changed my gynae for my second pregnancy (am six months along now) due to the fact that I did not want to go to Pantai anymore due to its exorbitant fees, I decided to ask my present doctor some questions. He listened to my grim tale patiently and when I'd finished, asked me only one question.

"Was your ex-gynae going on holiday the week after?"

And that was when it struck me. She had told me that she was going on her vacation around the same time. It just did not occur to me the significance of it because hell, she's my doctor. She should be able to manage her schedule and not only because I am paying her to be around when I'm ready to pop.

Of course I was outraged. I began to see why I was rushed to the hospital before my labour pains started, two weeks ahead of my due date, before I was even dilating properly! And to realise I should have known about this dilating thing - but then again, how many first time mothers do?

According to my present gynae, depending on the health of the pregnancy after months of monitoring, the practice is to admit a patient only when their contractions are minutes apart, or when the water bag has broken, or if the husband is around to check, if the cervix is about 5cm dilated. Anything earlier is just a waste of time and money, UNLESS complications are expected to arise.

That said, my gynae confesses that he is pro-Caesarean himself. Why? Because it is safer for the mother and the child. However, for first time births, he usually discourages it unless the baby is breach (positioned wrongly) et al. For mothers who have gone under the knife, such as myself, he recommends another Caesarean simply because of safety.

"Honestly speaking, it poses less stress for the doctor as well because we are worried for you, if your wound might rupture, which is very messy. The decision is ultimately still up to you to go elective or vaginal," he told me.

In considering this (I was very determined to go natural the second time around until his advice), I looked at my friends around me, about nine of them having been pregnant and expecting earlier this year. Out of the nine, eight had Caesareans. Three were emergency while the other five were elective (i.e. voluntary, planned cuts that are grossly cheaper than emergency ones due to hospital protocols).

This was when I decided to do a little sleuthing. I asked all of them why they went for the cut. Three electives quoted that they wanted to be done with it quick and tidily, as advised by their doctors. The other two said that it was because of the money (emergencies cost more than electives, almost a thousand more, give or take, due to hospital protocols and manpower, although natural births cost much less) while one was also afraid of the pain. She obviously did not think of the pain AFTER the drugs taper off.

The three emergencies were due to complications such as breach, placenta previa and a blood clot found in the placenta.

All of them paid no less than RM5k/S$6k for their deliveries (two of these friends delivered in Singapore).

Out of so many of my school friends I still keep in touch with (rough number of 20) who are parents now, only THREE have delivered naturally, and that is only for each of their first children. Two of these ladies went under the knife the second time around
This leads me to realise many things. Firstly, for an educated, affluent couple to have a baby today is a truly expensive affair - and this isn't even including the postnatal stuff and the future.

The more you know, the more you seem to want to pay. Take those folks who go to government hospitals (and I know two women who gave birth in Klang GH). They pay RM2 for the urinal cup if they have the good fortune of a natural birth. If there are complications, a week's stay, everything included, is about RM400. Sure, the buildings seem old (for some), the nurses are rude and the doctors don't have a lot of time to spend on you. However, the equipment is top notch and medical care is reasonable.

Still, private hospitals and medical care seems to be THE preferred way to go (and I am guilty as well for holding on to this perception), and as such, one gets the feeling that most gynaes these days seem to be out to literally put you to the slaughter.

Secondly, while safety is always paramount to mother and child, doctors seem to think that a C-section is the panacea for troubled minds (and not blogging!). Do a cut, quick and simple, and mother and baby are safe. According to my gynae, his record is SIX C-sections on a single mother and he knows of a doctor who holds the record of 11 cuts on a single patient.

As such, if one is only planning for two to three kids, C-section is actually quite safe.

With so much for Caesarean, what then is the case for vaginal or natural birth, if one dares to ask? Why was I so adamant?

1. Cheaper fees (which is apparently more of a gamble than Caesarean these days)

2. Less pain and better recovery after (which my doctor insists can be achieved as well in a properly performed C-section these days)

3. Better 'bonding' between mother and child because both are 'alert' at time of delivery (this is very iffy factor to grasp for many simply because it's not exactly proven by science. However, I for some reason believe in it, although my first child and I bonded very well because of co-sleeping and breastfeeding)

4. Easier breastfeeding immediately after (there is no doubt that nursing after a Caesarean is a challenge in itself)

5. The satisfaction after delivery that a Caesarean birth will not be able to replicate (another emotional factor that's hard to push for - pun intended)

6. A friend of mine told me that her paedetrician conducts research on children delivered using Cesarian, who may suffer from a nerve-related growth impediment compared to children delivered vaginally - although none of this is proven yet. This has something to do with the birth canal massaging the nerves as the baby descends.

Last week, after much debate with my husband and discussion with my gynae, coupled with my own research on the Net, I relented to an elective Caesarean on 31st December 2004 for my second child.

Of course, this is just for me as I have a few 'extraordinary issues' to consider, such as my previous C-section, the fact that I was overweight and may have early diabetes.

Still, I cannot help but wonder that with medical advancements having reached its state today where in so many areas, doctors are availed more and more research and methods to help perform their jobs better and easier, that if perhaps they too have forgotten their Hippocratic duty to provide their patients the best possible medical care without conflict of interest - such as to fatten their bank accounts by opting for the easy in the name of safety.

With the dearth of healers in our country, I dare not think about what lies ahead for health care in our country and how high the costs will eventually shoot up if gone unchecked.

It is any wonder that our money-minded mothers wish us to marry doctors these days?

[Copyright Controlled]

[Jennifer Tai writes about Relationships and First-Time Motherhood on Women's Channel every week]

December 27, 2005

Mencari Jiwa Yang Tenang

Bagaimanakah mencari ketenangan jiwa? Ada orang menonton wayang, merokok, mengambil dadah atau berkunjung ke pusat hiburan.

Begitukah cara yang sesuai? Cara begini mungkin boleh menenangkan jiwa untuk seketika tetapi kemudian hati bercelaru semula. Ia bukan cara menenangkan jiwa yang abadi!

Syarat bagi ketenangan hati adalah dengan mengisi keperluan asasinya iaitu dengan iman seperti firman Allah SWT yang bermaksud:

"(Iaitu) orang-orang yang beriman dan tenang tenteram hati mereka dengan zikrullah. Ketahuilah, dengan zikir kepada Allah itu, tenang tenteramlah hati manusia." [Surah Al-Ra'ad: 28]

Orang beriman akan mendapat hiburan dengan cara berhubungan dengan Allah SWT; melaksanakan perintah-Nya, kewajipan, melakukan perkara sunat seperti zikir, puasa dan sedekah.

Mereka terhibur dengan kehidupan yang dicorakkan Allah, sentiasa bersangka baik dengan Allah dan membuatkannya tidak pernah resah. Apabila diberi nikmat, mereka terhibur lalu bersyukur. Diberi kesusahan, mereka juga terhibur lalu bersabar.

Orang beriman yakin dengan firman Allah SWT yang bermaksud:

"(Katakanlah wahai orang yang beriman: "Agama Islam yang kami telah sebati dengannya adalah): Celupan Allah (yang mencorakkan seluruh kehidupan kami dengan corak Islam); dan siapakah yang lebih baik celupannya selain dari Allah? (Kami tetap percayakan Allah) dan kepada-Nyalah kami beribadat." [Surah Al-Baqarah: 138]


December 23, 2005

Ujian Tingkat Kematangan

Tiada manusia yang tidak diuji dengan tekanan. Sama ada di rumah, pejabat atau keluarga; tekanan tetap ada. Malah tekanan dianggap sebagai lumrah dalam perjuangan dan hidup manusia.

"Sesungguhnya orang mukmin akan menerima tekanan hidup kerana tidak ada satu bencana sama ada kerana terkena duri atau yang lebih besar, tidak juga ketakutan melainkan Allah SWT akan mengangkat darjatnya satu darjat dan menghapuskan satu kesalahan dengan kesabarannya menghadapi bencana dan kesusahan tersebut". [Riwayat Al-Hakim]

Ingatlah bahawa ujian selalu seiring dengan perjuangan. Oleh itu, ia tetap memerlukan bekalan iman, sabar dan istiqomah. Ujian dijadikan Allah untuk mengukur tahap keimanan seseorang itu kepada Allah SWT dan seluruh ajaran-Nya adalah benar dan diikuti oleh perlakuan dan tindakan atau hanya terhenti setakat di mulut sahaja.

Umat Islam akan diuji dengan 5 perkara iaitu :

1. Saudara seagama yang sentiasa dengki terhadapnya;

2. Orang munafik yang sentiasa membencinya;

3. Orang kafir yang sentiasa memeranginya;

4. Syaitan yang sentiasa berusaha menyesatkannya;

5. Bisikan hawa nafsu yang sentiasa menggoncang keimanannya.

Semuanya ini menuntut kesabaran dan di dalamnya terdapat ganjaran pahala yang besar daripada Allah SWT.

Lawan bagi sabar adalah mengeluh dan merupakan perbuatan yang amat dilarang oleh agama; kerana mengeluh akan melemahkan semangat dan menerbitkan kecewa serta putus asa; sedangkan Allah SWT berfirman yang bermaksud;

"Sesungguhnya tiap-tiap kesukaran disertai kemudahan". [Al-Insyirah: 6]

Yang penting, sering sematkan dalam hati; tanpa masalah atau ujian, tidak akan lahir kematangan kerana pengalaman dalam menyelesaikan masalah adalah guru terbaik dalam menjamin kejayaan dalam kehidupan.

[Copyright Controlled]


December 20, 2005

Panduan Dapatkan Anak Soleh

Untuk menjadikan anak soleh, disiplinkan diri supaya menjadi contoh dalam melakukan ibadah kepada Allah SWT. Ajak anak-anak mengaji Al-Quran selepas solat (terutama malam), berbakti kepada orang tua (kerana anak-anak akan mengikut), doakan mereka serta berdoa :

"Tuhan kami, kurniakanlah kami pasangan dan zuriat yang menjadi penyejuk mata dan jadikanlah kami pemimpin kepada orang yang bertaqwa".

"Tuhanku, jadikanlah aku dan zuriatku sebagai orang yang sentiasa mendirikan solat".


December 15, 2005

Penerang Hati

Untuk mudahkan anak-anak menerima pelajaran, suruh anak-anak mengamalkan bacaan surah Al-Insyirah ayat 1 - 8 (Alam Nasyrah) dan surah Al-Alaq (Iqra') dalam solat Subuh.

Selain itu, hafal serta amalkan surah An-Nur ayat 30 untuk terangkan hati, insya-Allah.


December 12, 2005

Doa Perlindungan Untuk Anak

P/s** For Ummi Athirah and All the Mums.

Dari Ibnu Abbas RA, dia berkata: Adalah Rasulullah SAW berdoa untuk perlindungan Hasan dan Husin, beliau membaca:

"Aku berlindung kepada Allah untukmu berdua dengan kalimah-kalimah Allah yang sempurna, dari segala syaitan, binatang yang berbisa dan pandangan mata yang menimpanya (yang akhirnya mengakibatkan sakit)."

[HR Bukhari]


December 09, 2005

Doa Mohon Perlindungan 1

[1] Mohon Perlindungan Dari Segala Kejahatan

"Aku berlindung dengan kalimah Allah yang sempurna dari segala kejahatan / bahaya yang telah diciptakan." [HR Muslim dan At-Tarmizi]

[2] Mohon Perlindungan Dari Sebarang Ancaman

"Ya Allah, sesungguhnya aku mohon ampun dan sihat yang sempurna kepadaMu, dalam agamaku, duniaku, keluargaku dan harta kekayaanku. Ya Allah, lindungilah semua kecelakaanku dan sentosakanlah ketakutanku. Ya Allah, peliharalah aku dari depanku, dari belakangku, dari kananku, dari kiri dan dari atasku. Dan aku berlindung dengan keagunganMu, untuk diancam dari bawahku." [HR Al-Bazzar]

[3] Tiada Sesuatu Memberi Mudarat

"Dengan nama Allah, tiada sesuatupun yang boleh memberi mudarat kepadaku di bumi dan juga di langit dengan berkat namaNya (Allah), dan Allah maha Mendengar lagi maha Mengetahui."

Menurut hadis Rasulullah SAW, sesiapa yang mengamalkan membaca doa ini 3 kali setiap pagi dan petang, maka dia terhindar dari bahaya segala sesuatu.

[Riwayat Abu Daud dan Tarmizi dari Usman Ibni Affan RA]

[4] Mohon Dijauhi Bala Bencana

"Ya Allah wahai Tuhan kami, kami berlindung denganMu daripada segala bala bencana, daripada mendapat kecelakaan yang berpanjangan dan kesudahan yang buruk. Kami juga mohon perlindunganMu daripada kegembiraan orang-orang yang membenci kami di atas kekecewaan kami; dan kami mohon perlindunganMu daripada menghidap sebarang penyakit dan harapan yang menghampakan."

[5] Doa Tolak Bala

"Wahai Tuhan yang Menolakkan Bala Bencana! Ya Allah, wahai Tuhan yang Menolakkan bala bencana; Ya Rahman, tolakkanlah daripada kami sekalian bala dunia dan akhirat. Dan juga bencana dunia dan bala bencana akhirat. Dan juga bencana yang datangnya dari musuh-musuh, dari manusia dan jin, dari syaitan dan iblis. Dan apa-apa yang turun dari langit dan keluar dari bumi. Dengan rahmat engkau, wahai yang maha Pemurah lagi maha Penyayang."

[6] Mohon Perlindungan Dari Penipuan

"Ya Allah, sesungguhnya aku memohon perlindungan dengan Engkau daripada kawan yang menipu, matanya melihatku dan hatinya menjagaku; sekiranya dia melihat kebaikan, dia menyembunyikannya; sekiranya dia melihat keburukan, dia menyebarkannya."


December 07, 2005

Doa Penyelamat Dari Dajal

Barangsiapa yang hafal sepuluh ayat dari permulaan surah Al-Kahfi, maka terpelihara dari (gangguan) dajal. [HR Muslim]

Mintalah juga perlindungan kepada Allah dari fitnah dajal setelah tasyahud akhir dari setiap solat.


December 05, 2005

Risiko Akibat Kerja Terlalu Lama

Satu kajian dari University Massachusetts menyimpulkan bahawa bekerja terlalu lama meningkatkan risiko penyakit atau cedera. Menurut kajian tersebut, kira-kira 61% responden yang sering bekerja lebih masa [overtime] lebih mudah diserang sakit.

1/3 responden yang bekerja 12 jam setiap hari juga menanggung risiko yang sama. Berdasarkan data yang dihimpunkan di US, mereka yang menghabiskan 60 jam seminggu untuk bekerja menanggung 23% risiko lebih besar. Data tersebut diperolehi daripada 110,236 pekerja sejak 1987 hingga 2000.

Menurut salah seorang pakar yang terlibat, semakin panjang waktu kerja seseorang, semakin tinggi risiko kemalangan kerja dan diserang penyakit termasuk kepenatan atau stress kerja.


December 02, 2005

Ejakulasi Pendekkan Umur Lelaki

Selama hayat lelaki, rata-rata melakukan ejakulasi (pancutan air mani) sebanyak 5,000 kali. Setiap ejakulasi mengeluarkan 200 juta sperma. Bermaksud seorang lelaki menghasilkan 1 trilion sperma selama hidupnya.

Air mani atau sperma yang dikeluarkan mengandungi vitamin, mineral, protein dan kalori yang memerlukan sperma untuk berenang melepasi vagina dan terus mensenyawakan telur.

Sel prostat pada lelaki juga menghasilkan zat alkali yang berfungsi menjaga supaya sperma boleh terus hidup ketika melalui vagina yang bersifat asid. Akibat proses ejakulasi, umur lelaki menjadi 6 tahun lebih pendek berbanding wanita.

Ini kerana setiap ejakulasi, lelaki akan berasa letih dan akan kehilangan kira-kira 5ml zink, selenium, protein, vitamin A, C, E dan gula. Kehilangan zat gizi ini mengakibatkan rasa letih, lemas dan lapar berpanjangan.

Tenaga yang dikeluarkan semasa melakukan hubungan seks adalah sebanyak 36 kalori atau bersamaan berlari sejauh 1.5km.

Nukilan Sofiee
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